************** UPDATE - GOT IT WORKING ******************All,
In the interest of helping others.. here are my findings:
First: The ADV7511 is a horrible chip.. so if you are looking for help.. it's not you.. there is a good reason for it

Documentation is not all that helpful.
Bottom line - you need to do the following:
1. Monitor HotPlug register.. (you can use an interrupt - BUT you need to monitor both high and low transitions!!)
2. When Hotplug goes high:
a) Wait a little or also monitor Current Sense from the monitor.. (I was just checking the Hot Plug register every second.. so did not worry about MCS)
b) write all registers EXCEPT for the ones you need to write after power on (in table at the beginning of programming manual)
c) Power on the chip. (My guess is this is simply a "power the output port"
d) Write the rest of the registers. (why on earth you need to write a ton of registers with static numbers is beyond me.. but sure)
3. When HotPlug goes LOW:
a) This is what no one tells you: You must power off the device!!! It will not be in a good state if you don't.
Rinse and repeat. it will now fire up a screen anytime I power up my board.. and will reset every time I unplug it and plug it back in.
Of specific note:
My TE0712 does a hard reset if I power it up without the HDMI cable.. and plug that cable in later. Sometimes it just kills my debugger connection.. other times it needs a power cycle to come back alive.
This is concerning. This feels like a design flaw of the TE0701. If I power it on with the cable plugged in I can plug and unplug without issues.
Undocumented Register issues:
0xBA will not accept valid values for clock delay on the positive edge.. it will always default back to default values.. which are incorrect (with a clear error in the manual) Manual says 0 delay.. default is -1.2ns.
0xAF with HDCP disabled.. it still insists that frames are encrypted..
0x18 with Color conversion disabled the register still returns default values on items set differently.. (this can be forgiven.. and is understandable)
Best way to get started:
Get the list of register settings from the TE0720 / TE0701 Reference design.. they are all correct! BUT turn off color correction and get rid of those registers.. it will simplify your design.
If you create your own Frame Buffer and you want to display RGB in that byte order then you need to edit the custom IP from the reference design.. no need to flip G and B. (this is the video IP that converts 24 bit to 12 bit DDR for the chip on the TE0701
Hope that helps.. and I will respond to questions if this Forum sends me emails.